Auckland, New Zealand

1/28/2006

Today was Auckland. We were supposed to get here at about 8:30 AM. We were close. 3:00 PM. The story is, they had to go slow in the slightly rough seas or some old fart might be in discomfort. What a lot of crap. I have been in ships that went as fast as they could, in rough seas, so as to be in port on time. Some of them could have been mistaken for sea going barf factories. What a bunch of cry babies.

They finally cleared the ship at 3:30 PM. We had a free tour from Virtuoso and they are usually fantastic. This one was cut to a third of it’s planned time.

We got into three deluxe buses and they drove us around town for a short time. Auckland is beautiful. It’s a city of three or four million. It is built on an isthmus only ten miles wide. There are many earth quakes as it is built on a fault line. It is the cleanest and best kept city I have since Hamilton Bermuda. Much of the city is built on filled in land and is hilly. The locals we did run into were quite friendly.

After a short ride we ended up at a small inn and restaurant that was built in the 1920s. It was owned and being run by the daughter of the original owner. This place had won first place as the top small inn in New Zealand and the restaurant took first place as the finest in the country for both food and service. We had just eaten at about 12:00 PM to 1:00 PM so we really needed another lunch. We sat outside under a fancy tent in a flower garden. The owners and help were the nicest people you could have ever seen. The food was so good that we did eat it even though we were already full.

We were walking around the grounds when we finished. I spotted the owners car. I knew it was the owners because it had the name of the restaurant on the front license plate. (Mollies) How observant of me. It was a short BMW 745i. It was exactly the same as the ones back home except some dummy had put the steering wheel and pedals on the wrong side. I bet you he had one big discount for that mistake.

We then got back into the busses for a further short tour of the town. The driver did keep driving on the wrong side of the road. We were taken to the top of the tallest mountain in the area. It was a park. You could see both coasts from up there as well as the tops of the tallest buildings downtown. They just stopped for a minute for us to take pictures from inside the bus. There was no time to get out. From there we traveled a different route back to the ship. All were nice as could be and kept thanking us.

As we got off the bus there were gifts for everyone from the tour company that Virtuoso hired. I don’t know why. They were just non descript pens.

We had to walk through security, customs and immigration once inside the terminal building. It was nothing like at home. Everyone was so nice and friendly and helpful it was almost fun. We all really liked this place.

Kiwi Sherm out.

(Posted on behalf of Sherman Rootberg)

Rough Seas

Sea day again. Bobbi went to crafts again. She finished her flat piece of wallpaper with ribbons thing, but one of the ribbons came out and now its ugly. Before it was just as ugly. Now the four sides are bent up on a 45 degree angle so that it looks like an ugly tray made of wallpaper with ribbons hanging from it. It is all falling apart though. I am so broken hearted. I hope she makes another bag so we can properly dispose of both together again. She started and finished a new project also. It is a very small box with a lid. It looks like it as made of cardboard but is really paper. It is the size of a box you might get a ring in. It’s falling apart too. That’s too bad because I could have had a real use for this one. It might have been a good place to put a couple of used pieces of Kleenex. Again, I’m so disappointed.

We saw the lady comedian and singer from Hallandale again. She was catching a cold but was still great. She picked on Bob Kramer a lot. The Kramers and Kapels were sitting in the front row again. Bobbi and I were sitting almost in the back. The comedian, Judy, announced that she knew the ones in the front wanted to be picked on so she was going to pick on the people in the back. When she walked back and saw me she turned away. She did not want to start that again. And that was it for the day except for the usual.

We are supposed to arrive in Auckland about 2:00 PM. Sea conditions were to rough to continue at full speed. We have a tour from Virtuoso that was supposed to start at 9:30 AM. We will miss the time allowed for shopping. Oh darn! That’s my second favorite thing to do. It comes in just after visiting the dentist. We will also miss the museum which was supposed to be very good. But they are still doing the luncheon. Good thing. Otherwise we might have starved to death.

Boring Sherm Out

(Posted on behalf of Sherman Rootberg)

One Size Fits No One

There is no January 25th here. Like I said, we crossed the international date line and we cannot remember a thing about the 25th.

Last night we were awakened by things falling off shelves and making all sorts of noise as the ship fell over on it’s side. Well, it didn’t really but it did feel like it. We have had huge swells for the last few days. Mostly they are trailing and usually not too bad. We have had a few times where they were sideways and slightly forward and things did get a bit rocky like in hard to stay upright. We later found out that the ship had to stop or go very slow last night to fix a leak in an oil line. Now we will be several hours late getting to Auckland.

I am writing this on 1/27. I am a day ahead of you. So if you want to know what is going to happen in the future you can ask. I wonder if I can get the results of horse races or stocks and send you orders to buy me some yesterday?

It was another sea day. Bobbi went to craps or crafts or something. She came back with this writing paper size unknown item. It is made of wall paper or wrapping paper and has holes punched all around where ribbons have been attached. I think maybe Bobbi went to the funny farm floor by mistake and was mistaken for one of the inmates but won’t admit it. She has no clue what it is she made nor what it can be used for, either.

The big event of the day was parties for the world cruisers. Unknown to us and why or how, we had previously been split into three groups for three separate gatherings. One was engineers only, the second was laundry, and the third was navigation. Muriel and Art got laundry. Muriel was happy as she had never seen a laundry room or laundry machines. Bobbi and I got invitations for engineers only. Delivered to our suite were a couple of white jump suits made of tyvek. Bobbi looked like the Pillsbury Dough Boy. As these suits were one size fits no one, I could not nearly get one on. We met at the rear entrance of the main restaurant and were given ear plugs and taken down to the crew area of the ship. There was a large area of many gauges, switches, push buttons and computers. They got hostile when I tried pushing a few buttons. They had a bar serving drinks and waiters everywhere, serving appetizers. After getting sufficiently polluted with booze, we were then taken down to the engine room. The ear plugs were needed. There were actually two engine rooms. There were lots of engines and generators. While quite loud, everything was very smooth with very little vibration and we were going at full cruise speed. Every thing was spotlessly clean.

After looking at this stuff for a while we went exploring where the crowd was not. We found an elevator and took it to who knows where. It only went up one floor but that was one less floor to have to walk back up. We exited the elevator and walked down a long crew corridor going no where we could even guess. Finally we turned a corner and sitting there was a crew man smoking a cigarette. I guess Bobbi must have looked like the Christmas ghost or something to him because he really jumped. This was a dead end so we tried a different direction back from the elevator. Ah ha. We struck gold. We were in the main kitchen. They were cooking acres of stuff. There were desserts and pastries everywhere. We walked by a shelf with hundreds of chocolate covered candies. We had found heaven. But we were asked to leave heaven and somehow ended up in the restaurant.

When we got back to the room there was another present waiting on the bed. They had given us two watches with two clocks for two time zones, on each.

Earlier I had met with a couple from California we had seen often. They had brought their own lap top computer and I showed them how to use it to get on the internet quicker and how to write off line so they could use up less minutes. They are so happy, they will name their next child after me. They think my name is Great One. I could change it I guess. It is getting a little confusing. The waiter at breakfast calls me Your Highness. I told him that was my name but he could just call me Your Majesty if he likes. You ought to see the stares I get when he addresses me.

Majesty Out

PS Tyler, if you are getting this on the 26th, then Happy Birthday again. If not, Happy Birthday whenever it was or is.

PPS Nate. At 7:26 AM on 1/27 our time or 12:26 PM on 1/26 your time we were at:
31*11’38” South
176*01’58” West

(Posted on behalf of Sherman Rootberg)

Where did the 25th go?

Sea day. Talked to Yael on the internet. He pointed out that we should have been in Roratonga in the Cook Islands. Talked to the cruise rep and she did not have a clue. They had removed it from the itinerary if you look it up on the segment section but not if you look it up under the itinerary that shows the entire cruise.

We talked to the entertainer I mentioned yesterday. She now lives in Hallandale. Bobbi went to crafts again. She is going to make a silk purse from a sow’s ear. Yeah, right. Looks more like the opposite to me. She is disillusioned. It is requiring a lot of sewing and she expected instant gratification. Life is tough.

Muriel finally read the rest of this blog and I think we are just barely talking. She doesn’t quite get the concept that this is my blog and not hers. She doesn’t mind if I mention how she looks with her hair glued to her face with salt water or her affection for wasps. She was extremely miffed because I spelled her name wrong. I wrote Murial instead of Muriel one time. Who cares. Everyone knew who I was talking about. The other thing that really ticked her off was when I told of her arriving at dinner for cocktails at 7:30 instead of 6:30. She claims she was right on time. Yeah, sure. And I’m an astronaut. I am sure this blog will really PO her so I just won’t let her have a copy. Okay. Muriel has always been on time and I just made this stuff up. How’s that?

Tomorrow does not exist here. We are crossing the date line into never never land and will not return until the 26th. Once you go into never never land you cannot remember anything that happened there nor can you send anything out from there. So there will be no 1/25 blog and we will have to wish Tyler a Happy Birthday today. His Birthday is January 26th.

That’s it except the usual eating, drinking, listening to some great lectures, eating , drinking, etc.

Never Never Land Sherm Out.

(Posted on behalf of Sherman Rootberg)

Hey! No Bald Jokes!

Today is a sea day again. Nothing really exciting. We do have a troop of Polynesian dancers, singers and musicians aboard. At lunch time they played in the buffet restaurant. They are very good.

I had made reservations at the specialty restaurant for dinner. They had been closed for two days to decorate and they had a special Polynesian menu, but only for one week. That means less then half the passengers can possibly have dinner there.

The decorating was great. They had bought palm fronds from one of the islands and woven it into floor to ceiling size sheets and covered all the walls with them. There were Polynesian screens and other directions such as stalks of bananas all over.

The Polynesian troop played, danced and sang all through dinner. These girls were wiggling body parts that I’m sure I don’t even have. There was one cute one that was willing to let me take her home for a souvenir but Bobbi said no souvenirs. I said please but Bobbi got one of her looks that clearly said I’m going to kill you, so I gave up.

The entertainment tonight was a an Israeli woman we had seen on a cruise just a year ago. We had spent time talking to her and even had a lunch and dinner with her at that time. She is fantastic. She sings and is a great comedian. She went into the audience and picked on me among others. She did some bald jokes. Lets see. This is how it went. Men who are bald in the back of their heads are smart. Men who are bald on the front and back of their heads are also sexy. Men who have completely bald heads just think they are sexy. Next she asks me where I am from. I replied, “The 7th floor.” That got a laugh out of the crowd and she gave me a high 5 and went on to torment others. She got a double standing ovation at the end of the show.

Bobbi got new diamond earrings in the ship store today. She had broken the stem on the ones she wore daily. Personally I think she really stepped on them so I would get her new ones. Then she pretends she is doing me a favor by letting me buy them for her. How nice of her.

7th Floor Sherm Out

(Posted on behalf of Sherman Rootberg)

Updates to Itinerary

It looks as though RSS at some point changed the Itinerary for the LA to Sydney portion of the World Cruise, but did not update the PDF file on their website. The updated Itinerary can be found here.
It looks like they got rid of the Cook Islands, and replaced it with Raiatea. This pushed Bora-Bora back to the 22nd. This also Pushed "Crossing the International Dateline" back to the 26th. They should still be in NEW ZEALAND by the 28th.

Bora Bora

Today we are at Bora Bora. I wonder if these people are hard of hearing. Many of their names for things are the same word said twice or more. Just one Bora would have been enough for a tiny dot of land like this. We didn’t find it worth 2 Boras.

We tendered in here and got on the only available means of transportation on a Sunday. That is, short of stealing something to ride on, which would have been a better idea. What we did get in was a large 6 wheel truck with a body on the back that had flimsy plastic seats screwed down. There was a roof and square holes for windows. There was little leg room and wood moldings sticking out on the sides to injure your legs on every bump.

They keep telling us this is the island James Michener calls the most beautiful island in the world. I think he must have drunk a lot or was on something. On top of which the real name was Pora Pora as there in no B in the local language.

The island has two outstanding mountain peaks. Other islands have dozens. The U.S. used it for a fuel depot from 1942 until 1946. The military put in the only paved road back then. It goes all the way around the island. It is the only road existing today. They also put in the island’s electrical plant and the only wells for water. Those are still used. They also left steel bunkers all over. They are piles of rust now but still serve as their cyclone shelters.

There are very few beaches on the island. The fancy resorts are on Motus just off shore. A motu is a tiny island. There are dozens of these and all have beautiful white sand beaches. Some of these may be as much as a mile or two off shore. While you would be shuttled up and back by hotel boats, most can be walked to in the shallow waters caused by the coral reefs ringing the Island. The single bay that is the harbor had its entrance made by the U.S. military blasting the coral for the islands only entrance. These Motus are beautiful little deserted islands and the waters are almost as clear as the Caribbean. Maybe that was what Michener was talking about.

The island itself isn’t much. It is all very green and mostly just wild. The homes that are there are not the best kept in the world. Most have bare dirt surrounding them. Even a medical center we passed had a growth of weeds around it that had to have been uncut for 6 months. There is no hospital. If you need one they ship you to France if you can afford it.

Naturally it did rain on us. Inside the square holes for windows were pieces of clear plastic that you could lift and hook. That would keep out most of the rain.

First we stopped at a mostly open air factory that made Pareus. These are bed sheet sized cotton things to wrap around yourself. Why one would do this thing? God knows. They are tie-dyed with [many] colors and decorations. No, Bobbi did not get any. But only because I swore to leave her there if she bought one of these faded, old, dirty, ant infested pieces of garbage wrap.

After a ride about half way around the island we ended up at Bloody Mary’s. It is a real cool bar. The floors are sand and all the bars and furniture [are] highly polished woods covered by [an] inch thick clear plastic that is poured over it when liquid. Out in front [are] a couple of sign boards with names of a few dozen stars and other notables that had visited.

They were selling some stuff inside but not like Margarita Ville. Bobbi wanted a baseball type hat. They said Bora Bora and Bloody Mary’s on them. What a bargain. Only $28,000 in some money or other. She thought that was such a bargain she got 5 of them. I have no idea what the cost was but I have a strong feeling I will have to report that my Visa card had been stolen when I do find out. Before we left we had to wait for a down pour to let up so we would not drown going the 30 feet to the bus.

From there it was just a short drive back to the dock where we boarded the last tender.

There are many islands that are far prettier in the Caribbean. I have seen resorts all over the world where the landscaping was hundreds of times better then the resorts in these islands. The little bungalows built on stilts over the water are cute but people that stay there said there was nothing to do except go in the water. All of the Hawaiian islands are far far prettier and have as good or better looking mountains. While this was nice to see once, we had all expected much better.

No Pareus Sherm Out.

(Posted on behalf of Sherman Rootberg)