Saturday, February 18, 2006

Kota Kinabalu, Borneo, Malaysia and Happy Birthday

This is a sea day. Up until three years ago, this would have been my birthday, But Ari took it. That’s okay because I didn’t want to get any older and she still does. For those of you that might not remember, Ari Hannah is the daughter of my son Adam and his wife Debra. Even though I am no longer having birthdays, some folks insist on still honoring me when they would have been.

Muriel got me a World Cruse hat and shirt. Isn’t she sweet. I might just have to stop saying all those terrible things about her. Naaaaaaaa. It’s too much fun.

The ship had my Happy Birthday wishes on TV all day. Before dinner the bell for our suite was ringing. The butler came with a Happy Birthday cake, a good bottle of Champagne, and card, sent by my kids and my Florida slave. It was delicious too. Thank you guys.

For dinner we had reservations at Signatures, the French restaurant. There were a total of eight of us. Friends we had met, Lynn and Nick, joined us along with our usual bunch. Lynn had written me a very nice card. Everyone toasted my Birthday and congratulated me several times. As always, the food and service was unbelievable. Everyone was remarking we will never be able to find a restaurant this good at home. After remarkable desserts they brought me another Birthday Cake with candles and my name on it. This was a whip cream chocolate cream cake. Had to try it also.

We were now docked in Kota Kinabalu, Borneo, Malaysia. There is a shuttle bus parked outside to take us into town but I think we will pass tonight and do it after a train tour tomorrow morning.

It has been very calm for these last two days, on the South China Sea, and today we traveled very slowly for most of the time as this is a shallow area with reefs and islands everywhere. Some of these islands, less then a mile across, have houses on them.

At 4:00 PM I went back to the doctor for my revisit he requested. He checked me out and found I had another $50 too much. He assured me I would be much better when he extracted same. My blood sugar had gone sky high since I had taken his meds. He did not have a clue nor could I understand much of whatever language it was that he spoke. I also told him that he had given me cough drops that were almost pure glucose. He said something like, Oh sorry, Mistake, and gave me some sugar free ones that don’t taste good. Art was now getting sick also. I warned him to stay away from the doctor.

Tonight as we walked into the suite we found balloons, and a towel made into an animal. Next to it was a hand written card from my butler and the maid wishing me a Happy Birthday.

This was a nice day and a great birthday.

No More Birthdays Sherm Out.

(Posted on behalf of Sherman Rootberg)

Friday, February 17, 2006

Pirate Fencing

Sea day again. We crossed the equator, for the second and I think last time, I think. It was rainy and of course hot. The sea has been very calm. A lot of people are worried about pirates. There may be something to it. The back of the two lowest decks have had fencing installed from side to side and top to bottom. I wouldn’t call it cyclone fencing but a lot heavier then chicken wire. Every time we see an island or something floating some people are getting very upset.

My cold or whatever I have is getting a little better. I am due to go back to the doctor at about 4 PM on the 18th.

That’s it.

Sickey Sherm Out.

(Posted on behalf of Sherman Rootberg)

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Pirates and New York

This is another sea day. I have an upper respiratory infection or I’m sick or something so I went to the doctor this morning. He found the problem right away. I had about $300 too much money. He said to give him the $300 and I would feel much better in the morning and he would give me some nice pills and stuff too. The orange candy ones are really good.

At about 9:00 AM captain Dog came on the intercom with the usual verds of visdom but this time there was a special message. Guess what? You are going to miss your next port of call in Borneo. We will only be stopping at one port there. He has been warned of pirates in the area and has to go further out to sea. And if you believe that one he will sell you a cruise to Mars. Funny thing. At about 3:00 PM I see the ship is slowed down to about 6 or 7 knots and it’s getting hotter and hotter in the cabin. Then the electric and air goes out completely. We get another intercom message. There is nothing to worry about, the ship is just sinking. No, he didn’t say that. He said there is nothing to worry about. There is just a short in the electrical system and they have to check .the generators. The electric and the air should come on shortly. As he was saying that, it did come on. Glad to know, he knows just what is going on.

This evening the couple from Virtuoso joined us for dinner. They were very pleasant. While at dinner Muriel told me she had just finished reading this log starting from about 1/9 to yesterday. She said she had several bones to pick. I was wrong. She already knew what a laundry machine looked like before this cruise. There was one in the garbage room in a condo she used to live in. She would have been happier with a stove operating demonstration. She doesn’t know how to work one of those.

Next she was really upset about my description of New York People. She wants me to come there for a week so she can prove they are not all really caged at night and some are even semi human. I said I had been there once, I’m not going back, and she was wrong. You want to get rid of those Taliban in Iraq? Just move those New Yorkers there for a while.

Oh boy. Big problem. I think Muriel was just standing behind me while I typed this last page. She just walked out of this computer room in a hurry and didn’t look happy. I sure hope she just had to go somewhere.

New Yorker Sherm Out

(Posted on behalf of Sherman Rootberg)

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Padang Bai, Bali, Indonesia

Padang Bai, Bali, Indonesia. At about 6:30 in the morning we started to see land. This is a land of very high volcanoes. The first thing we saw was one about 10,000 feet high with its top above the clouds. Everything here is very green and rugged looking. What a beautiful sight, until the exotic perfume of the island started entering our suite. It was the exotic aroma of burning garbage. We were told earlier, by a crew member, that is the way this part of the world smells.

The place where we were anchored is about two hours from the main town or anything else to see of any interest. We were told there are ports far closer to the things to see.

We had reserved a van with a guide and a driver for the day. The Kapels came with and split it with us. It was about 10 to 15 minutes to tender in to the dock where the vans were waiting. This place is very close to the equator and is very hot. Did I mention it’s hot here? Wow, is it hot and humid here. I hate to be redundant, but the main thing you notice is it is really hot here. The vans were waiting right at the small dock where we got off the tender. The good news was, they were all very new looking and had three rows of seating behind the drivers row. Even though the leg room is pretty limited, there was plenty of room for the four of us and the driver and guide in the front. Of course the van had air conditioning. The bad news was, they were all made by KIA. They rode and well enough and had enough power but they are made in Korea. It must not get hot enough there for those Koreans to worry much about the air conditioning. It took forever for it to do anything and then not very much.

From the water this island looks like a jungle. Once ashore it looks as if every inch was being used for something. The island is very heavily populated. The nicer houses are ornately adorned with Bali figures carved into them and all have a temple, of various sizes, built into or next to the them. The roads are in very good shape, unlike those in Polynesia and the Caribbean, but they are also very crowded. Small motor cycles are everywhere. We saw one with a driver and four children riding it. Those motorcycles running everywhere, like ants, mixing with big trucks, driving like there was a fire to get to, makes for fun viewing. The roads are all two lane but big trucks will pass while traffic is going by from the opposite direction. Bet no one sells auto insurance here.

Our driver spoke no known language from this solar system but the guide thought he was speaking some English. We mostly disagreed but he tried so hard and was so genuinely friendly we put up with it. It took a very long time to get anywhere.

Our first stop was for a Bali Play or opera. There was a large covered stadium like arena filled with chairs made of bamboo. No cushions, just bamboo rods of different sizes were made into chair shaped things. I tried sitting in one and a too large bamboo tube, placed about ¾ the way up the back, tried separating my spine into several pieces. This was not the major problem however. The big problem was, these chairs were made for little Bali people. If anyone has not yet noticed, I am not a little Bali people. I must be just a hair or two wider then those folks, as I now needed a pry bar to extract my posterior from said chair like torture device.

That done, we now watched their opera complete with a dragon, many strange costumes, and wild screaming women. We were later told this was the best of these plays? If they say so.

After the play thingy we got in lines to use the, ha ha, bathrooms. It was bring your own toilet paper and bring your own flush water. The good part was, as you waited in line to be disgusted, the locals attacked you with junk to sell. The word no is not able to be heard by them. They just don’t stop. They just keep lowering the price. If you finally say okay, they ask for more money then they last offered the items for. Muriel is now the proud owner of a pair of hand carved, maybe, who knows what, and who knows where they were made. But I’ll bet no else at home has any. It’s okay though because she says she got a good deal.

Next we drove to a Batik factory. This is where they hand make batik cloth. The designs are hand painted from bees wax and paints. They go through many processes before completion. This Bali Batik is supposed to be the most intricate and some of it is beautiful. This cloth is then hand sewn into different kinds of clothing and table and bed linen. Bobbi is impressed that there were dozens of bats sleeping upside down on the outdoor ceiling covering the factory area. This Batik must obviously be made of bat doo doo too.

There was a large semi air conditioned inside store area too. You name it, they had it made in batik. And that is hand made batik, not stamped batik, unless you wanted stamped batik. I was so excited I went to visit their library.

It was very clean. It had a toilet paper holder with just the card board inside of a used up roll of paper. There was, however, a hand held shower head with a hose. Now I was really confused. Okay, I won’t go into it. I sent Art to get paper. They reluctantly gave him a small roll but required a deposit. No they didn’t. To make a long, unnecessary story a little shorter, suffice it to say, everything came out all right in the end and no one dared go near that part of the store for quite some time. Art had to use the Ladies. He still won’t leave me alone about that.

Bobbi, of course, bought a big bag full of stuff while I hollered she didn’t need that junk. I don’t know why I even try. It never worked before and it didn’t do any good now. When I’m asked what she bought I reply, everything. That is no exaggeration. She did get a freebee though. They carried her bag out to the van because I wouldn’t. Oh yeah, they offered us semi cool water and little 5 ounce bottles of Coke. Imagine that after she spent only $32.000 in Bali money. ( Bobbi thinks it’s free like Monopoly money). As we were about to get in the van the salesman asked Bobbi if she wanted a butterfly for the white blouse she was wearing. She said sure and a girl hand painted a flower and butterfly on her sleeve. It really is pretty.

Our next stop was supposed to be lunch. Avery nice lunch had been planned in an open air hotel restaurant. Open air was the key word here. It was now about 180 degrees out. And that was in Celsius. No one could do any more open air. We insisted on a well air conditioned restaurant. The only two they knew of were Kentucky Fried Chicken and Mc Donald’s. That did not do it for us. I asked how far the big volcano was. It was another 45 minutes each way. Later we found there was no large volcano we could drive up to. I have no idea where he would have taken us or what he thought I said.

We had paid for an eight hour tour but opted to give up and go back to the ship where there was real air conditioning and safe, good food. The driver and the guide did not want to turn around and started mumbling stuff to one another. We finally figured out they thought they had done something wrong. We finally got it across that everything was okay and we were just tired and hot. Only then did they turn around. I guess we were going to be hostages otherwise. When we got back to the dock the guide couldn’t thank us enough. He kept bowing while putting his hands together as if praying. He kept asking if he was in trouble. He was real cute in his white skirt with the blue stripe at the bottom. He probably thought I dressed funny too.

When we got back to the ship all the restaurants were already closed except the BBQ on the pool deck. They always have great huge hamburgers and chicken sandwiches and salads. We tried going up there but it was far too hot outside and the inside was now closed. We went back to the room. It was now 3:00 PM and because we were starving we ordered room service for the first time ever. I really don’t like eating in the room and then having the used stuff lying around, but when starving, one must make sacrifices. We ordered a couple of cheese burgers and they were there in 10 to 15 minutes. God, they were good. You would think we hadn’t eaten in a week.

For dinner this evening there was a Bali BBQ up on the pool deck with Bali entertainers doing dances. Again, up on deck was the key word and we opted to eat in the nicely air conditioned main dinning room. All except Muriel. She just wilted and would not resume the daily activity of dinner. You would have thought we would not be able to eat dinner. We just finished lunch less then three hours ago. But, again, one must keep up one’s strength. And we did. Later we went up on deck and watched the Bali dances. They were not nearly as good as the one we saw, I think?

Bali Ball Sherm Out.

(Posted on behalf of Sherman Rootberg)

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Valentines day

Sea day. Valentines day. We did mostly nothing. There were some very good lectures and Bobbi got a rose at dinner. That was about it.

Valentine Sherm Out

(Posted on behalf of Sherman Rootberg)

Monday, February 13, 2006

Brain freeze

This is a sea day. It is very hot out now and very calm. I am sure you have heard of the Ship of Fools. Well, this is the Bananas Boat.

I told you about the comedian, a couple of days ago, that roasted the captain on his birthday. I didn’t go into a lot of detail at that time. The guys name is Kenny Smiles. Among other things he did was mock the way the captain talked. He said he could talk Norwegian too, and then would say things like herdy, gerdy, verdy.

In his roast he had the captain come up and help with a magic act. He appointed the captain, Dag, to be the wizard. He put this very tall wizard hat on Dag and tied it under his chin. Then when Dag couldn’t see, he removed the hat revealing a bathroom plunger that had been under the hat and was now tied to dag’s head.

Today, at about 3:30 PM an announcement came over the public address and into the suites. The captain said he had enough of this Kenny Smiles. A friend of his that was the captain of a refrigerator ship was going to trade him for a sack of Norwegian fish. At about 4:00 PM we would meet and make a transfer at sea.

There are two small orange boats, with outboard motors, on the ship. One is directly below our suite. We saw them putting gas in this boat and getting it ready to launch. Suddenly a huge orange freighter appeared on our stern. (Rear). We had slowed to a crawl and it quickly caught up to us.

Kenny comes out and goes up to the outboard. He is wearing the plunger tied to his head. They got him into the outboard and launched the boat.

Now the Norwegian freighter is about two blocks ahead of us. It had taken about a mile for the ship to stop after it shut down its props. The small boat with Kenny and our other outboard were on their way to the freighter. Our ship now turned and came toward the freighter. As we approached the orange refrigerated freighter, our loudspeakers began playing real cool music very loudly and it really sounded good. Songs like Sail Away and Jimmy Buffet’s Sailor Man. Everyone from our ship was up to the rails as were the crew members of the other ship. All were waving to one another. Then we see the outboards coming back.

It seems the captain of the freighter changed his mind. He decided Kenny was not worth a sack of fish and he was being sent back. The little boats paraded up and back between the two ships which were now side by side and very close. All the while Kenny was wearing the plunger on his head. Next the ships started blowing their horns. Bobbi loves that. Says it sounds like giant whales talking to one another. I wonder if maybe all Norwegians are nuts. Maybe its brain freeze from living so far north? All this just for some shtick. Big Shtick.

They finally brought the outboards back up on the ship. As the davits that held the small boat were just under our suite, I was able to talk to Kenny from my balcony. I asked him things like, did you know you were not worth a sack of fish? And where’s the herdy, gerdy, verdy, now. He replied he was unacceptable and they sent him back.

It was a lot of fun and who thought you could get two captains of huge ships to stop and do this clowning. It is a story no one else I know of can tell.

Tonight we were invited over to the Kapels for appetizers before dinner. Unbelievable what their butler brought. Chicken wings. Quiche, cheese platter, shrimp, cheese role puffs, smoked salmon, caviar, with all the sides like onions, chopped eggs, sour cream, crackers of many kinds, and I know I forgot some things. There was enough for at least a dozen hungry people and most of it was left.

It was another fun day with great hot weather.

Great Hot Sherm out.

PS HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

PPS We need recipes for Passover. We are going to have the chef make us stuff. Please send us some you know to be good. Thanks

(Posted on behalf of Sherman Rootberg)

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Man Eating Sharks

Our time = Bangkok time. 7:43 AM on 2/13
Chicago time. 6:43 PM on 2/12
21*59’48” South
113*07’31” East

Cruising the Indian Ocean en route to Padang Bay, Bali, Indonesia. Is that better then just saying Sea Day? The Hong Tailors came aboard today. Whoopee! I have no idea why people buy from them. The prices are no better then what I pay retail at an expensive fat man shop. The quality is surely no better either.

The next excitement was eggs Benedict with crab cakes instead of ham and topped with caviar.

Had a good lecturer telling the truth about sharks. They will eat you and not because they are hungry. They just like to. On the Mariner they had this French Cousteau program where they told you that sharks were your friend. They don’t bite. Take one to lunch today. Go swim with them. Yeah, right. Then count your arms and legs.

That was about all the excitement we could handle for the day.

Crab Benedict Sherm Out

(Posted on behalf of Sherman Rootberg)

Current Position

On 2/12 at 8:12 AM ship time (2/11 @6:12 PM central)
29*05’39” South
113*26’59” East

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