One Size Fits No One

There is no January 25th here. Like I said, we crossed the international date line and we cannot remember a thing about the 25th.

Last night we were awakened by things falling off shelves and making all sorts of noise as the ship fell over on it’s side. Well, it didn’t really but it did feel like it. We have had huge swells for the last few days. Mostly they are trailing and usually not too bad. We have had a few times where they were sideways and slightly forward and things did get a bit rocky like in hard to stay upright. We later found out that the ship had to stop or go very slow last night to fix a leak in an oil line. Now we will be several hours late getting to Auckland.

I am writing this on 1/27. I am a day ahead of you. So if you want to know what is going to happen in the future you can ask. I wonder if I can get the results of horse races or stocks and send you orders to buy me some yesterday?

It was another sea day. Bobbi went to craps or crafts or something. She came back with this writing paper size unknown item. It is made of wall paper or wrapping paper and has holes punched all around where ribbons have been attached. I think maybe Bobbi went to the funny farm floor by mistake and was mistaken for one of the inmates but won’t admit it. She has no clue what it is she made nor what it can be used for, either.

The big event of the day was parties for the world cruisers. Unknown to us and why or how, we had previously been split into three groups for three separate gatherings. One was engineers only, the second was laundry, and the third was navigation. Muriel and Art got laundry. Muriel was happy as she had never seen a laundry room or laundry machines. Bobbi and I got invitations for engineers only. Delivered to our suite were a couple of white jump suits made of tyvek. Bobbi looked like the Pillsbury Dough Boy. As these suits were one size fits no one, I could not nearly get one on. We met at the rear entrance of the main restaurant and were given ear plugs and taken down to the crew area of the ship. There was a large area of many gauges, switches, push buttons and computers. They got hostile when I tried pushing a few buttons. They had a bar serving drinks and waiters everywhere, serving appetizers. After getting sufficiently polluted with booze, we were then taken down to the engine room. The ear plugs were needed. There were actually two engine rooms. There were lots of engines and generators. While quite loud, everything was very smooth with very little vibration and we were going at full cruise speed. Every thing was spotlessly clean.

After looking at this stuff for a while we went exploring where the crowd was not. We found an elevator and took it to who knows where. It only went up one floor but that was one less floor to have to walk back up. We exited the elevator and walked down a long crew corridor going no where we could even guess. Finally we turned a corner and sitting there was a crew man smoking a cigarette. I guess Bobbi must have looked like the Christmas ghost or something to him because he really jumped. This was a dead end so we tried a different direction back from the elevator. Ah ha. We struck gold. We were in the main kitchen. They were cooking acres of stuff. There were desserts and pastries everywhere. We walked by a shelf with hundreds of chocolate covered candies. We had found heaven. But we were asked to leave heaven and somehow ended up in the restaurant.

When we got back to the room there was another present waiting on the bed. They had given us two watches with two clocks for two time zones, on each.

Earlier I had met with a couple from California we had seen often. They had brought their own lap top computer and I showed them how to use it to get on the internet quicker and how to write off line so they could use up less minutes. They are so happy, they will name their next child after me. They think my name is Great One. I could change it I guess. It is getting a little confusing. The waiter at breakfast calls me Your Highness. I told him that was my name but he could just call me Your Majesty if he likes. You ought to see the stares I get when he addresses me.

Majesty Out

PS Tyler, if you are getting this on the 26th, then Happy Birthday again. If not, Happy Birthday whenever it was or is.

PPS Nate. At 7:26 AM on 1/27 our time or 12:26 PM on 1/26 your time we were at:
31*11’38” South
176*01’58” West

(Posted on behalf of Sherman Rootberg)