Pirates and New York

This is another sea day. I have an upper respiratory infection or I’m sick or something so I went to the doctor this morning. He found the problem right away. I had about $300 too much money. He said to give him the $300 and I would feel much better in the morning and he would give me some nice pills and stuff too. The orange candy ones are really good.

At about 9:00 AM captain Dog came on the intercom with the usual verds of visdom but this time there was a special message. Guess what? You are going to miss your next port of call in Borneo. We will only be stopping at one port there. He has been warned of pirates in the area and has to go further out to sea. And if you believe that one he will sell you a cruise to Mars. Funny thing. At about 3:00 PM I see the ship is slowed down to about 6 or 7 knots and it’s getting hotter and hotter in the cabin. Then the electric and air goes out completely. We get another intercom message. There is nothing to worry about, the ship is just sinking. No, he didn’t say that. He said there is nothing to worry about. There is just a short in the electrical system and they have to check .the generators. The electric and the air should come on shortly. As he was saying that, it did come on. Glad to know, he knows just what is going on.

This evening the couple from Virtuoso joined us for dinner. They were very pleasant. While at dinner Muriel told me she had just finished reading this log starting from about 1/9 to yesterday. She said she had several bones to pick. I was wrong. She already knew what a laundry machine looked like before this cruise. There was one in the garbage room in a condo she used to live in. She would have been happier with a stove operating demonstration. She doesn’t know how to work one of those.

Next she was really upset about my description of New York People. She wants me to come there for a week so she can prove they are not all really caged at night and some are even semi human. I said I had been there once, I’m not going back, and she was wrong. You want to get rid of those Taliban in Iraq? Just move those New Yorkers there for a while.

Oh boy. Big problem. I think Muriel was just standing behind me while I typed this last page. She just walked out of this computer room in a hurry and didn’t look happy. I sure hope she just had to go somewhere.

New Yorker Sherm Out

(Posted on behalf of Sherman Rootberg)