Acapulco

Had to get up before breakfast today. We are going on a tour of Acapulco provided, free of any charge, by Virtuoso Travel. At this time we have to take a commercial break because, if I fail to mention that this wonderful, day long tour is provided by my lovely and terrific in all ways, travel agent and travel agency, she will get her feathers all in a ruffle and throw out my mail, trash my house, and poison my dog or some other nice thing that a lovely and terrific in all ways travel agent and best buddy would do. So if you want to travel anywhere, even if it is just to the grocery, call Vicki at Palm Travel. She provides all kinds of extra services for clients. She will collect your mail, watch your house, do your laundry, wash your car, keep your dog, etc. etc. At least I think that is what she said.

Had to really rush to get washed, dressed, and shot up before room service came. The tour was to start at the ungodly hour of 9:30. You read right. 9:30 and the one that comes early in the morning when folks should still be asleep.

Everything went as scheduled and we got to our van right on time. I maneuvered our way so that we ended up in a 12 passenger van for just Bobbi and me, the Kapels, and another couple we met and had dinner with.

First it was off to the cliff divers where they gave us Margaritas at about 10:00 in the morning. It was a special showing for just our group but they only did a couple of dives and then came up to stick their hands out for tips. The last time they did bunches of dives so I wouldn’t let Bobbi give them any tip.

In the same hotel is a nice Mexican junk and jewelry shop. Naturally some time was spent there while Art Kapel and I snoozed on chairs.

We toured the old part of town and went to a hotel in the old part of town, the Flamingo, owned by John Wayne in the 40s. It had beautiful views and lots of pictures of the Duke and many other stars while there.

We then traveled on around the rest of the city ending up about two and one half hours later at Las Brisas on the far other end of the bay. The main road is six lanes. Traffic moves right along at about two miles an hour. They drive on the bluff system. Who ever bluffs the best gets to go first. Large trucks and busses are the fastest transportation as most don’t like to bluff with them. The fun part is to watch someone cut off a truck or buss while on a motorcycle. It makes for lots of flat Mexicans.

We were taken to a beautiful private villa for a very nice lunch with drinks and wine. It was all served out under a covered patio and under umbrellas around a beautiful pool overlooking a breath taking view of the bay. There were plenty of fans to keep us cool enough. Food and service was excellent. It was a 5 bedroom 7 bath beautiful home with all marble floors and very expensive decorating. They do rent it out very cheaply for what it is. For up to 10 people it is $1,000 in the summer and $1,500 in the winter. All is included with plasma TVs and DSL, 5 person staff, all hotel facilities, and all expenses except food. The help will buy the food you want to have cooked and give you the receipts. They go over menus with you daily. Sounds too good to be true. I wonder what the catch is.

Then we drove back to the ship which is docked back near the center of the bay. I stopped to get an extra memory stick to store stuff on for the computer at an Office Max. They have the computers on the ship fixed so you cannot write to CDs and down load pictures. They want you to have to take you camera to the photo department to have them down load them for a charge.

Our driver was as nice as could be and spoke perfect English.

Last but not least. We have come up with this absolutely has to work diet. I have tried many others over the years. All worked at least a little for at least a day or two. Some even longer, but none as well as this one.

It is called the Bobbi Whisper Diet. Here is how it works. If I start to eat something I should not, Bobbi whispers sweet nothings in my ear.

For example: Last night there was, among other things, Bananas Foster for dessert. I have no idea how this could have happened, but somehow I was given those Bananas Foster instead of the sugar free desert I was suppose to have ordered. As I lifted a huge soup spoon full, to shove in my face, Bobbi whispers from across the table, loud enough for the rest of the ship to hear, “PUT THAT IN YOUR MOUTH AND I WILL KILL YOU.”

Very effective diet. Unpleasant, but effective.

(Posted on behalf of Sherman Rootberg)